Bogna Maslanka

04 May 2013

The Next Big Thing Meme

So, I was tagged by Ashley Heckman back in December to do a writing meme and I totally forgot about it because I am an idiot. Lets get to it, here are the rules:

  • FOLLOW THIS FORMAT.
  • ANSWER THE 10 QUESTIONS BELOW.
  • SPREAD THE FUN AND TAG 5 MORE AWESOME PEOPLE TO PARTICIPATE.
  • IT’S ALSO NICE TO LINK BACK TO THE PERSON. SHARING IS CARING, Y’ALL

1. WHAT IS THE TITLE OF YOUR BOOK/WIP?

“The Moon’s Rainbow”

2. WHERE DID THE IDEA OF THIS BOOK COME FROM?

May-December romances are one of my favorite tropes. My favorite fanfiction pairings (ships) are May-December romances. I’ve always wanted to write one. I just have never had a plot that I felt passionate about.

3. WHAT GENRE WOULD YOUR BOOK FALL UNDER?

Gay erotic romance.

4. WHICH ACTORS WOULD YOU CHOOSE TO PLAY YOUR CHARACTERS IN A MOVIE RENDITION?

Hmm, well for the teacher I would chose Ralph Fiennes and for the prostitute I think I would go with  RJ Mitte.

5. WILL YOUR BOOK BE SELF-PUBLISHED OR REPRESENTED?

Represented.

6. HOW LONG DID IT TAKE YOU TO WRITE IT?

It is currently not finished, but I hope to have it done and edited by June 1st.

7. WHO OR WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO WRITE THIS BOOK?

The plot was inspired by Walter White Sr. from Breaking Bad.

8. WHAT OTHER BOOKS IN YOUR GENRE WOULD YOU COMPARE IT TO?

Oh damn. I have no clue. I read mostly FF because I’m poor.

9. ONE SENTENCE SYNOPSIS:

Straight laced high school algebra teacher can’t shake his sexual urges and decides to go to a brothel for “help”.

10. WHAT ELSE ABOUT YOUR BOOK MIGHT PIQUE THE READER’S INTEREST?

Other than the large amounts of porn? Hmm, it would probably be the delicious angst.

 

AND NOW to harass my Twitter friends:

1. Patti Sparkles  2. Jill Glass 3. Sadie Dane

4. Sara Parks 5. A.T. Quinn

Posted in Meme, Writing and tagged , , | Leave a Comment
24 Apr 2013

Your Contract is Shitty and You Shouldn’t Be Bragging About It

I was sitting on a bus that was suppose to be taking me to the transit center. Of course, it was was rush hour and a major accident had just happened on one of Portland’s 12 (13?) bridges. I had just taught a 3-hour lab and was exhausted. Okay, so yes, after the lab I went to Buffalo Wild Wings and had a couple drinks and a large amount of onion rings. But in my defense, that didn’t add to my extreme exhaustion. The exhaustion came afterwards when I noticed that I had 24 lab reports to grade. I started grading pre-labs on the bus but gave up after grading about half of them. My brain was fried.

Sitting next to was a teenager who was sitting sideways in his seat and had his backpack still on (this is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. It’s just rude to sit there and invade my space with your bag. JUST TAKE IT OFF!). The teen sitting next to me was listen to a friend’s story about how he had just turned 18 and was now dating a 31 year old. He was so excited that she had her own place! After mindless babbling about his new beau, backpack teen asked him how he was going to afford to live on his own. His friend calmly replied, “Oh, I’ll just publish my second book and I’ll be set for life man.” 

What? Just what the flipping FUCK are you talking about? From the way you speak, I’m not even sure that you can even spell your own name.

After pointing out that all he had to do was publish his second book he proceeded to discuss this first book and his pile of shit contract. According to him, he revives a $9,000 advance and 68% royalties per book sold. BUT there is a catch to this madness (duh). He doesn’t get a dime of that money (both the royalties and the advance) until he publishes his second book with the publisher. Huh? How is this a good thing? He seemed so excited about it. Backpack teen asked him if he knew how many copies of his first book he had sold. His response was , “Well, they’re not out here yet. They’re only available in New York. But I was told that they’re already sold 200 copies!”

What. The. FUCK. Either this is a huge fucking scam or this kid is lying through his teeth. At this point he went on babbling about how he had three publishers competing for his book. I wasn’t really paying attention to what exactly he was saying. I was to busy fighting both the urge to cackle and to chew him out for being so stupid for signing that contract. I decided to laugh softly to myself and pretend that I was looking at something funny on my phone. They ended up getting off of the bus long before I needed too and I took solace in their stupidity.

Either the friend is a true idiot or the backpack teen is an even bigger idiot for believing the lies that his friend was openly spewing. I’m still completely confused. If you’re going to lie about a contract, at least make it a good one.

Posted in Advice, Writing and tagged , , , | Leave a Comment
21 Apr 2013

Not Dead Yet

Dear Nameless Family Member,

The last birthday of mine that you attended was when I was 14. That was nearly 10 years ago.  I’ve been extremely sick and I am still recovering from dehydration. Do not get angry at me for not attending your birthday party today. I can’t even see straight, how do you expect me to make it to your house?

Sincerely,A very sick and distraught Bogna

To my fantastic followers — I am not dead, nor have I given up on writing. I have just been very sick and having to work my day job while sick. Although I am very proud to say that none of my students have blown up the lab or burnt down the building. If they keep it up, they will be fantastic chemists.

Posted in Personal, Rant and tagged | Leave a Comment
02 Feb 2013
2 Comments

Saturday Seductive Studs Blog Hop

Ladies and Gentlemen, I proud to announce that from now on I will be doing the Saturday Seductive Studs blog hop. I am very excited to share pieces of my current slash (male/male) WIP’s, drabbles and flash fiction with all of you. Some of these posts may be not safe work (NSFW) and those will be labeled and tagged as such.

So how about we get started with something soft? This piece is taken from a WIP that is going to be the in novella to novel length.

Enjoy.

—–

“Can you guys please shut up?” Tatton said, clutching his hands over his eyes. “My head is pounding.”

“You had quiet the nasty spill Mr. Grey, I’m glad to see that you are waking up.”

Tatton ripped his hands away from his face and stared up towards the man he suspected to have spoken. He cursed to himself silently. The God damned head commissioner of the International Games was standing over him. He looked around at the others in the room, his stomach twisted when my eyes fell on Coach Hill. Coach Hill glared at Jack. Jack sat near the head of Tatton’s bed. Jack’s coach stood behind him and seemed more interested in his nails than in what was going on. Several of Tatton’s teammates stood in the door way of Tatton’s room, looking back and forth between him and Jack. Tatton gulped.

“Do you think you will be feeling better in time for the starting ceremony tomorrow, boy?” The commissioner said with a soft smile.

“Yes sir.” Tatton coughed.

“Excellent!” The commissioner clapped his hands together. “You heard him, nothing to be concerned about anymore. File out then; let the boy have some rest in private.”

—–

To read other authors stories, click the banner above!

Posted in Blog Chain, Writing and tagged , , , , ,
31 Jan 2013

A Text Converstaion Between My Partner and I

Kurp : I got you 10 roses because I’m cheap and pretty sure you don’t like roses.

Me : Lawl

Kurp : I sent each on in its own box via a different shipping company. There’s a GoPro [camera] taped to each one and I’m gonna splice ‘em together and be the biggest hipster at Sundance next year.

Me : Lolol, how many boxes am I expecting?

Kurp : Like 40? I didn’t keep track very well. Each petal has it’s own.
This is what true love is all about, kids.

Posted in Personal and tagged , | Leave a Comment
30 Nov 2012
1 Comment

Excerpt from NaNoWriMo 2012

I finished off NaNoWriMo 2012 with a grand total of 3,158 words. I blame physical chemistry for my short fall. I’ve done NaNo since 2009 and over the past three years I’ve averaged 10,000 words. Once again, I blame P Chem for ruining NaNo (and my life for that matter). For the hell of it, I have decided to post an excerpt from this years failed attempt. This is drastically different from what I typically write. I decided to try out a fantasy story with witches. Enjoy!

*  *  *  *  *

“Sisu died 2 years ago, father. I don’t even remember him. He left when I was fifteen.” Linus flattened his palm against his face and closed his eyes.

“Sisu was my seventh child. He was my fourth boy. I miss him dearly. I am very lucky to have you and you’re older brother Cue,” King Belenus stared thoughtly into his soup. “Well, what is left of Cue at least.”

“Where in Merlin’s hell is Cue?” Linus glared through his fingers. His siblings always managed to get out of dinner with their father by dying or getting beat to a bloody pulp by a pack of elves.

“Oh he’s in his room. Resting up from several weeks at sea. Poor boy had his boat attacked after he accidentally killed a mermaid. He brought her a board to have some intimate  time. He didn’t know that she couldn’t breathe air. Or that she didn’t have genitals for that matter.”

“That’s very enlightening father. Now if you will,”

“Ended up that she was a general’s daughter. Did you know that the Merpeople had an army? I didn’t have the faintest idea! What do they need to protect themselves from? Anyways, the general recognized him as a sibling of Paavo. He was my third son, he died when you were ten. Or at least I think you were ten. Who knows, you could have been twenty. Either way I doubt that you remember him.”

As King Belenis rambled on, Linus slowly slipped out of the dining hall. As he stepped into the foyer, he took off at a dead run. His robes flew out behind him and strands of his white blonde hair slipped free from the emerald ribbon that pinned the wavy hair to the base of his neck. He jumped over a group of servants who were cleaning grime from the thousand year old stone that made up the wall. He ignored they’re disgusted looks and snappy one liners about his immaturity.

His lungs burned with need of air. Linus slowed down to a light jog. Moans came from down a hallway to his left. The hallway lead to a set of double doors that housed Cue’s quarters. Were the moans of pain or pleasure? He tried not to let his mind linger around the question. Cue was named after Cupid. He was suppose to be the last child. He was the eighth child in Linus’ line. After the death of Mari, King Belenus first daughter, Linus was conceived. with Cue’s mother Junia.

Yes, King Belenus had nine different children from four different women. Linus never knew his mother or many of his siblings for that matter. All that he had know had come from the army of nanny’s who took care of the Tritten clan. She was a princess from another kingdom and had strong healing magic abilities. The people of the kingdom believed that King Belenus has strong peace keeping magic. Linus had overheard children of the servants spreading rumors that King Belenus could remove a trolls anger with a single look. If Linus was ever asked about the subject of his father’s magical abilities, which he never was asked about, he’d say that his father was good at impregnating women.

Posted in Excerpt, Writing and tagged
06 Nov 2012
1 Comment

Lol, you mad?

Image

Posted in Personal
21 Jul 2012
1 Comment

How I Get Back Into Writing After Ages of Procrastination

Today I started packing for next weeks writers conference in  Vancouver, Washington. Every time I lugged a load of laundry out of the drier and neatly (okay, semi-neatly) put them in to my brand new suitcase, I looked up at my laptop and wished for inspiration to strike. For fucks sake, I am about to attend a writers conference and I  haven’t worked on either of my W.I.P’s in nearly a week. In between moving loads of laundry and trying to keep Halo out of my suitcase (seriously, the thing is HUGE), I jotted down a list of things that I have done in the past to get myself into the mood to write.


I don’t care how good that coffee taste, I am a dog and you WILL pay attention to me.

 

#1. Talk with Other Writers

There is nothing better than some friendly competition. All authors enjoy to brag (to a certain point) about their writing accomplishments. Just hearing how much my friends have written fires me up. I have to write more than them. I have to find a big twist that will shock them when they read my story. I have to smack them in the face with my awesome word count.

#2. Read Books About Writing

When I just cannot force myself to write even a text message, I pick up one of two books. No Plot? No Problem! by Chris Baty or On Writing: A Memoir by Stephen King. Both of these books get me pumped up and inspired. No Plot? No Problem! is suppose to go along with NaNoWriMo, but I found that the book is full of priceless advice for writers. I always link it to authors who are just starting out. It is my all time favorite writing related book.
On Writing is my second favorite writing related book. It is has both stories about Stephen King’s progression as an author and advice for authors of all levels. I like to reread the stories in the first part of the book for a good laugh. It also reminds me how much money I could be making if I keep up with my writing. This brings me to my next point.

#3. Remind Yourself How Much Money You Could be Making OR How Much You Are Losing

This always get me to write a little bit. It may only be one or two words, but hey those words are getting me closer to being done with my story. And when that story is done, I can sell it and make money. I personally like to remind myself how fantastic it will be to get out of my parents basement house. If that doesn’t make we work, I remind how myself about how much money I am potentially losing by not writing. The key to both of these is to not go over board, be realistic about your finances and don’t get your hopes up to much.

#4. Deadlines, Deadlines, Goddamn Deadlines

Want me to get shit done? Give me a deadline. I don’t care how unrealistic it sounds at first, I will get all of that crap done by that deadline. There is something about humans and deadlines. We loath them and we hate it even more when we don’t make them. The guilt about not making a deadline is extreme. Find a deadline and stick to it. I can’t set my own deadlines, I have zero self control. I have come up with two solutions to this problem. A) Tell my writer friends about my deadline or B) Find a deadline for a submission that I am interested in. The first of these two is the easiest to do, but I find the second solution works better for you.

#5 Find What Works Best for You & Stick to it

This is by far the most important rule of all. It may take you years to find out what works best for you when it comes to writing, but when you do find it, stick with it. There are hundreds, if not thousands of different blogs out there about this very topic. Read as many of them as you can and try as many things as you can stomach.

Posted in Advice, Writing
28 Jun 2012
1 Comment

Health Care Law

This morning was a typical summer morning in Portland. Overcast, cold and foggy. I arrived downtown, got my regular from Einstein’s Bagels and transferred to the MAX. In the five minutes that it took the MAX to make it up to campus, I received three e-mails from my mother and two tweets from MSNBC. All five of those messages brought me bad news. I had lost my health care. My heart sank and I began to panic. I already spend 40 dollars a month on prescriptions, how in the hell was I going to afford the full amount (~ $350)? Ironically, my most expensive medication is for anxiety.

The first thing that I did was find a place to plug in my laptop. I lost count of how many times I mistyped my password. Finally my browser loaded to CNN.com. I wouldn’t be surprised if I was turning blue at this point. Several angry tweets and e-mails later, my mother forwarded me another e-mail from CNN saying that the health care law was in fact upheld by the supreme court. When it comes to confusion in the news, I turn to Twitter. Why? I have no clue. It really is a stupid thing to do.

I wasn’t surprised to see the trending topics and top tweets, but I was surprised to see the amount of support for the health care law. Sometimes I forget how many other people are in the same situation as I am. Jobless, in school, in student loan debt and has a preexisting condition. In my case I have several preexisting conditions that make private insurance either really expensive or impossible to get. Well baby, I was born this way.

 

Posted in Personal and tagged
25 May 2012

Spring Term

Wow. I don’t even know how to describe how my term has been going. Its been frustrating, that’s for damn sure. My depression has been hitting harder than normal and I am confident that it has to do with the added stress of this term.

The most worrisome thing is that this has been making me miss class and I have not been writing at all. I was so proud of the damn 700 words that I have knocked out these past few days its depressing. I’ve been forcing myself to do research for my novel and its been rough. I had no clue that finding information about the American army’s preparation for D-Day in Great Britain.

I haven’t been blogging a lot for various other reasons. Most of the time I’m not so sure what I should be blogging about.  I really hate blogging about my depression, even if it does make me feel better, because it makes me feel like a whiny bitch.

For a more interesting blog post (with pictures!) check out my tumblr: http://bemaslanka.tumblr.com/

Posted in Depression, Personal and tagged , , , | Leave a Comment

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